on monday, i was teaching a spanish class.
somebody found a pink cloudy my little pony or something like that, pen on the the floor.
someone offered it to the only male student in the class! he says... it cant be MINE can it!!
so why cant it be yours? what is it about the male social role that means they will not let themselves show a certain aspect of their personality. Poor C. i hope he doesnt mind me using him as an example?
i've been thinking about aspects of being female, where can i do things, where can i not? i think the most difficult thing about being a woman, is it is generally less acceptable to be scruffy. when you get a guy who walks into class wearing the same clothes that probably havent been washed in 5 months, nobody notices, or they just say.. he's just a young man. If i did it, i think it would signify some kind of sexual disfunction?
what else? well.. going out for a walk on your own past 6pm, people start wondering what you are doing. i have a river near to me, so when my partner is back from work it means i can escape for 15 minutes from my house. its june, its light, and the evenings are wonderful arent they? i love walking but im starting to realise that it makes me feel a bit uneasy these days. i'm not really sure what im saying here?
i suppose if someone found a football on the floor and they gave it to me, i'd probably be like.. er.. why are you giving it to me! (even though i love football). i suppose when that happens, i'm scared of the way other people view my sexual and gender identity? maybe thats what it is. I think everyone has male and female inside them are they are terrified to express it because nobody else does..
if a man picks up a pink pen, it must mean his is gay, wierd? maybe even a paedophile.
my god isnt this world bloody crazy.
somebody found a pink cloudy my little pony or something like that, pen on the the floor.
someone offered it to the only male student in the class! he says... it cant be MINE can it!!
so why cant it be yours? what is it about the male social role that means they will not let themselves show a certain aspect of their personality. Poor C. i hope he doesnt mind me using him as an example?
i've been thinking about aspects of being female, where can i do things, where can i not? i think the most difficult thing about being a woman, is it is generally less acceptable to be scruffy. when you get a guy who walks into class wearing the same clothes that probably havent been washed in 5 months, nobody notices, or they just say.. he's just a young man. If i did it, i think it would signify some kind of sexual disfunction?
what else? well.. going out for a walk on your own past 6pm, people start wondering what you are doing. i have a river near to me, so when my partner is back from work it means i can escape for 15 minutes from my house. its june, its light, and the evenings are wonderful arent they? i love walking but im starting to realise that it makes me feel a bit uneasy these days. i'm not really sure what im saying here?
i suppose if someone found a football on the floor and they gave it to me, i'd probably be like.. er.. why are you giving it to me! (even though i love football). i suppose when that happens, i'm scared of the way other people view my sexual and gender identity? maybe thats what it is. I think everyone has male and female inside them are they are terrified to express it because nobody else does..
if a man picks up a pink pen, it must mean his is gay, wierd? maybe even a paedophile.
my god isnt this world bloody crazy.
no i mean it, this world is totally and completely round the bend..
actually i think that because he makes an issue of the pen being pink it does show some kind of conflict within him. Its like, i want to pick up this pen, but, there is NO WAY im doing it! im a man and men arent allowed to write with pink pens?
i've talked about the male role being very squeezed up, just like a lemon thats been used to make lemon juice
i think these days, women are like the lemon juice and men are the squeezed up remains. You cant have one without the other, but the circumstances are very different.
the question has to be for men, how can they change that around, how can they make it so it doesn't threaten their entire existence if they pick up a pink pen?
i've talked alot about this with men, both in reality and in the internet, and im torn between two arguments, one that says im right, and men need to get over these little fears they have.. and others who say, men dont want to become like women!! men want to go their own way.
i've talked alot about this with men, both in reality and in the internet, and im torn between two arguments, one that says im right, and men need to get over these little fears they have.. and others who say, men dont want to become like women!! men want to go their own way.
i dont know what this means at all. im not sure they know what it means either? i hope they do, but i doubt it.
besides, how is using a pink pen becoming like a woman?? my god, they really do not understand at all do they? a pink pen, is something that might have made a young kid, probably a girl, smile sometime 5 years ago. lets get a bit of perspective here!!!
besides, how is using a pink pen becoming like a woman?? my god, they really do not understand at all do they? a pink pen, is something that might have made a young kid, probably a girl, smile sometime 5 years ago. lets get a bit of perspective here!!!
anyway, while i was out walking yesterday, there was a group of women footballers practising. the coach (a man, as per usual) kept looking at me.. im 5'9" and i can do 100 kick ups with a football.. he must have thought, hmm, is this a member of my team turning up late?
no, im not in a womans football team, and although i like football, something i saw in asda the other day really put me of it totally..
a womens team was collecting for a new strip. it was white and blue stripes with white socks. they were offering to do the packing in return for a small contribution, to be made in a bucket.
on the bucket it read.... 'the future of football is female...'
i didnt make a contribution, and thankfully the guy collecting (mangina) didnt bother asking me. I am a woman, but you know what, women are CRAP at football. Im about as good as it gets and compared to any bloke down the street im rubbish. I went through a phase in my mid teens where i thought that i was as physically able as a man. I thought i could objectify my feelings like them, but.. a few arm wrestles and a couple of games of table football later, and i had changed my mind...
.
I can get bitter about things the other sex does better than me. but, thank god i came to that
conclusion as soon as i did. I learned to apreciate them instead of trying to be like them. Although deep down we're all the same aren't we?? what contradictions i live with inside myself.
oh well....
.
so, anyway, the future of football is definately not female, and if it is, then football has no future. I love watching the way the men move around, how they drive and move the football around the pitch, the passion, the commitment that they show. I love the passion of it all, its something that feminism is scared of. well it doesnt scare me.. its brill. i love it.
womens football? balls of fat running around with a pony tail wiggling at the back? you cant tell which one is the ball and which one is the player can you? so....thanks, but no thanks. Dont try and tempt me into something that im not good at.
anyway, what does this mean? well, it occured to me just how deep routed the feminist agenda is in our minds.
A man collecting for a womans football team, with a bucket saying the future of football is female!...and, in a national supermarket chain
if they had asked me for a contribution, i would have said, 'i would have contributed, but i prefer watching men play, and as they have no future, why contribute!!!' or is that one of those thing i wished i had said, when really i'd not have said anything? who knows. as a woman though i think i have a responsibility to point these things out. The situation men are in is that they cannot even stand up forthemselves anymore. maybe if i start the ball rolling??
my god and people call me a feminist. that really gets on my nerves. I am not a feminist, feminists believe in women, MRA's believe in men. Lucia Vega believes in lucia vega and a hand full of men and women that i met in my life, on the internet and in my family. They tend to be left handed, but not always. I always like left handed people. They are normally a bit wierd, like me. But the really wierd ones are left handed and right footed, or right handed and left footed.
watch out for them!!!! im left handed and left footed. but i use scissors with my right hand.
so, dont get me wrong, some men do have a hell of a lot to learn from some women too. something the mens movement has not even tried to address. the mens movement certainly does not want the gaping differences between some men pointing out. they hate me when i do it..
oh yeah and has anyone noticed just how enormous the new generation of young men are.. i was in the park yesterday, and there were a group of them lying in the sun, and throwing a football around. they were enormous, big shoulders tanned in the sun, all of them at least 6 foot 2.
well at least they are getting fed properly, so its not all bad men, is it? somebody is looking after you somewhere....
so, dont get me wrong, some men do have a hell of a lot to learn from some women too. something the mens movement has not even tried to address. the mens movement certainly does not want the gaping differences between some men pointing out. they hate me when i do it..
oh yeah and has anyone noticed just how enormous the new generation of young men are.. i was in the park yesterday, and there were a group of them lying in the sun, and throwing a football around. they were enormous, big shoulders tanned in the sun, all of them at least 6 foot 2.
well at least they are getting fed properly, so its not all bad men, is it? somebody is looking after you somewhere....
11 comments:
"Men have a hell of a lot to learn from women."
Such as?
er.. you're right, its a bit of a generalistion but i think the main thing they have to learn, is to not be afraid to show when they're happy.
i dont think that shows any weakness does it? i mean i know men are supposed to be protectors and that they dont want to show weaknesses and things but i dont see why being happy is a weakness
perhaps i'll change it to 'some men have lots to learn from some women'
I think to assume that all men have a 'feminine side' is incorrect. I think there are certain behaviours that some men would like to engage in more, but they can't because of cultural pressures.
However, I think that a lot of the pressures for men to act macho and not be sensitive and gentle come from women themselves. All women have to do is look good, and men will be attracted to them. But in order to become attractive men have to 'become someone'. This can either mean the rich alpha male, or the aggressive thug. Many men would like to be more expressive of their feelings, and be more gentle and low-key in how they interact, but they know that women do not (despite all the propaganda to the contrary over the last couple of decades) go for sensitive men. They are far more likely to go for arrogant bastards than sensitive reasonable men. Not always true, but more true than not.
Most 'nice guys' know the sickening dread of every time they meet a woman they like, and are nice to her, she ends up saying "I just see you as a friend", and choses to date some arrogant insensitive loud-mouth instead. Just as women have this dread of being dumped for a younger women, or of loosing their looks, I think a lot of men have a dread of being seen to be *just friends*. It can eat away at a man's self-worth.
Also, I think women like to belong, and blend in with the crowd. Men also like to belong, but have a greater need to assert their own individual self-identity.
2 more thoughts:
A lot (maybe most) men are scared of appearing gay because they think this will mean that women won't find them attractive/love them.
In my experience, and this is probably particularly true of the UK, women put a lot of subtle pressures on men NOT to show their emotions, unless it happens to be an emotion that the woman WANTS to see the man express. Often if a man is happy and expressing it, a woman will get resentful or roll her eyes at him. If he is sad or depressed she'll pester him aggressively and then basically have a 'get over it' attitude.
darren the point you are missing, is im not saying you should display your emotions for womens pleasure..
you would be doing it for you. not for them.
you're right some women dont like emotional, gentle men.. they can seem 'wet' and dont appear to provide any security.
trust me, women search above all for security. looks are secondary. as long as they look ok, its ok.
also obviously they have to have a full set of teeth etc at least for me. rotten teeth? yuck.
That is NOT the case for women. lots of women get left behind because they dont look right, and there is fuck all they can do about it.. that is much worse than having to 'become someone' as you say.
showing emotions does not have to come across as 'wet' or 'soppy' look at the italians, they cry all the time, yet its not seen as unmanly.
so yes, men can learn from women. but they dont have to become them. im not saying that. i think thats what you have interpreted.
i've always said that men need to learn how to express feminity in a masculine way..
so i think your misunderstanding what i am saying
"All women have to do is look good, and men will be attracted to them"
all? some women spend their entire lifetime learning how to appear attractive to men. it doesnt just grow on a tree you know..
I know most women look for security in a man, but they are increasingly interested in looks too. I see it more and more. So I think men are starting to get pressure from BOTH directions (i.e. the ideal man is both rich AND good looking, whereas the ideal woman is just good looking).
For example, recently on YouTube there was the interview with the editor of a woman's magazine at one of their photoshoots of a male model. The guy was about 18 I think, and posing topless. The woman was saying that whenever they need to do a photoset of a man that will appeal to women of *ALL AGES* (i.e. not just the young women) as the ideal man, they need to go for a young man.
I don't think that the pressure on women is as crippling as you make out, because at heart most men aren't that fussy about what they consider to be a good looking enough woman to date. As long as shes not fat or seriously ugly she will be accepted. And 99% of fat or seriously ugly men would be rejected too anyway. Plus women have a trick up their sleeve: Make-up. A lot of women like Maddonna, Posh Spice or Paris Hilton are always parading as sexy, yet they aren't actually that pretty if you look at them properly. Its all a trick of make-up and diet, something any woman can do.
But can a man increase his height? Nope. He can't even wear high heels. But a lot of women insist they want a tall man.
I also don't accept your point about Italian men. I'm a British man and I don't want to cry all the time. I like being steady and calm mostly, and I think there is definitely a place for my type of man in the world. Maybe you just prefer the more highly-strung Mediterranian type men to British men? Its just a matter of taste.
Incidentally, if security is so much more important to women than looks, how come its Brad Pitt that women lust after most and not Bill Gates?
"Plus women have a trick up their sleeve: Make-up."
personally i hate make up, it irritates my skin, but i agree, its not fair. its about time men started using it then isnt it? you cant blame women, its men that dont use it. men are terrified of it. I look at them when they are in the womens clothes section in Asda, they fiddle with their clothes, anything but be seen to show an interest in womens clothes...
"But can a man increase his height? Nope. "
no, i agree shorter men have it alot harder. but why cant they wear high heels?
women started wearing trousers didnt they?
men have to consider these questions. i've been saying this forever.. men have to take on femininity.
i dont know the answer to the brad pitt question, personally i dont like him, he's a bit plain for me. seems a bit shallow too, but he's not exactly short of money is he? i suppose he's quite charming in a retarded country boy kind of way.
women seek different kinds of security. some seek big shoulders, others big wallets.
not many women lust after bill gates, but i bet any one of them would get married to him.
you are right, women have lots more access to things to make themselves more attractive..
so its about time men started making sure they have access to them too?
i think we'll end all the worlds problems by the end of the day at this rate!
I'm not sure that getting men to wear make-up and skirts is really going to improve their lives that much though.
I'd rather see changes like better education for boys, more respect and security for the role of fatherhood, pre-nup agreements becoming legally binding, and less of a 'slut' culture. All of those things *Would* make dramatic improvements to both men and all of society.
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