webcams, being middle class, and looking like an old hag..

dear diary, time to write something new isnt it?
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well i've been away on holiday, it was 20 degrees (celsius NOT farenheit!!!) but i had to cope with in-laws traditional christmas fighting so just about came of even in the end. You know, when im away, i really miss my computer. I've become very attached to it, i was thinking while i was away.. my best friends these days tend to be random people on the internet, and you know what??
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i dont think im ashamed of that anymore.. should i be ashamed of that? i mean, you're not real people, are you? are you???
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im probably an anti-social type. I feel comfortable when i don't have to talk to anyone, when i don't have to portray any stupid image of the latest fashion in being a normal human being.
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along time ago, my mother spent most of my early years reminding me of this while she kept up with the jones's at her oh-so-middle class dinner parties. 'Well hello' they would say to me, not quite looking me in the eye.. 'how are things, how is life!?' and 'hows school!' sipping their wine, looking awkwardly like they weren't somehow real people...
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bloody hell, i dont know, im 10 years old! did you know that?? i want to run upstairs and cry. i cant really tell them that schools horrible can i? or that they bully me because im fat? they dont really want to know do they? or at least, they dont want to feel awkward in front of the Joneses.

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i suppose the answer to all this is to never trust anyone who asks you questions without looking in your eye. you can be nice to them, but something is not as it seems, is it?
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so, that was how i felt. I was always made to feel guilty for being anti-social. Like there was something wrong with me. Well you know what? there are lots of things wrong with me, but i dont care anymore, im a bloody wierdo, so shove that up your bum along with the wine, the pesto and the sun dried tomatoes..

anyway, 1980's middle class dinner parties apart, recently i've become addicted to this horribly addictive and frankly, narcisistic new invention known as webcam. I sit in front of it, and suddenly tens and hundreds of random people want to know about me. Yes me.. is this what being well known is like?
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Some can speak english, others try but fail. They can construct sentences with the word tits in it, but thats as far as they go. Normally arabs.
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occasionally you meet more interesting people and they actually make me feel attractive for the brief period that im there, and believe me, that is a bloody hard thing to do.. sometimes i fancy them. Its always annoying, because you can't touch people on webcam... then i go back to reality, where i generally feel like an ugly old hag. I spend most of my days wondering how i can be so ugly and nobody else can really see it. I suppose its called being a woman isnt it? or maybe its just about being me.. anyway, webcam is almost becoming preferable to real life. That has to be wrong doesn't it?
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i suppose it must be really funny watching what people get upto behind closed doors. Staring at me in my dirty pyjamas. Its funny, they dont know that their dirty!
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On webcam they call me pretty, sexy and lot of other things that make me feel as if somehow i was something special. It never happens to me in real life. What it is that i do on there, that i don't do in real life? perhaps in real life they can see that my pyjamas are dirty? perhaps they see the bags under my eyes.. who knows? perhaps men are afraid to say nice things to me in real life. i dont know. Maybe they are lying, but what for? its not like there going to get anything from me is it? i mean, im 1000s of miles away. I even get women admirers. They bug me and never go away.
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i think that on webcam, i become a different personality, someone who has lots more confidence and doesn't get hurt as easily as she should. I mean, on the internet, i don't care if people call me names, or get into arguements with me really. Thats the not the same as real life is it? in real life it hurts doesnt it? on the internet it doesnt hurt so much.
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i suppose most people on there are guys. I dont really have any competition. I guess the answer, is just to get rid of all the other women in the world, and then real life will get a bit better for me?
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oh well.. maybe i should just become middle class and ask my friends kids how school is...

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perhaps the real meaning of the internet is that you can make friends and talk about things that in real life, are just too difficult. Perhaps webcam is somewhere you can feel the emotions that you don't let yourself feel in real life, eh?

angry woman!

i was quite appalled today.

why?

because i went to drop my children of at the local nursery. There was some kind of stall that was giving away little nicki-nacky kids things so i had a look.

a lady confronts me, and gives me a questionaire, basically asking if i was suffering from, or, if i knew anyone who was suffering from domestic violence.

its appalling, my partner knows the people at this nursery and he drops them of as often as i do. Yet, while he's not there, like the true cowards they are, they ask me in so many words, if he is guilty of beating me up. You know, i have standards, and this was disgusting.

who the hell do these people think they are? seriously, who are they? they think they know better than my own relationship with my husband? how dare they try and stick their nose in MY relationship!

all around were posters saying 'does he make you feel small?' - isn't domestic violence a unisex subject? aparently not. I normally ignore this kind of thing, but you could replace the he with blacks, whites, and suddenly it would become wrong wouldn't it? I can see that. Im not an airheaded sheep.

you know what, this is a sure start, state run nursery, its a kids place. They are encouraging women to snitch on their unsuspecting husbands. I have to say im horrified by it. Im starting to worry about what other propanganda they are trying to put in my kids heads..

i feel like the sad truth is, that these people rarely find anyone who is actually suffering from domestic violence, they just construct witch-hunts against innocent and decent caring men who can't control themselves socially very well. I've seen how men act, in situations like this. They cower away in the corner.

enough is enough. I've always said i would stand up for decent family men, and i am absolutely disgusted by this.

you know, i think domestic violence is appalling, but i also think that air headed people trying to destroy family relationships at a local nursery, is just as appalling. There was another man there, he often drops of his kids. Nobody gave him anything, nobody gave him any information, or nicky-nacks. He was isolated, left alone. I felt sorry for him, but i felt more angry at the way these people thought that i was more interested in them, than in my husband.. that i would snitch on him, for their cause?

the only question is, what do i do about it? how do i support my man in such a hostile situation?

and how do men cope with this kind of situation, and why dont they start standing up for themselves? perhaps i was wrong about machoman. Im starting to like him.

or maybe they deserve it for letting things get into this state..

wow i really am going from one extreme to another!

im a roller coaster

feminism, bouvet island, the outback and poor little penguins!

i've become really interested in geography lately, there is so much in the world that i dont know about. We downloaded google earth, isnt that amazing! you can even see our little terraced red brick house on it!

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anyway, a friend of mine, K., just got back from australia and she says that she wants to drive across the continent, apparently there is a road right through the middle..

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so, i got on google earth, found the road and did the journey myself! it only took five minutes though..

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isn't australia a strange place, its like 1000's of miles of orange sand, with some bushes, and then this lonely little road going all the way through the middle.

it got me thinking, how lonely some places in the world are. Apparently the most remote island in the world is called bouvet island. I guess its pronounced in a french way, like "boo-vey"? Its like an iceberg with an anchor!!

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apparently, its so far away that the nearest place is antarctica and that has no people living there either? There is a thread now about it in my forum:

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http://luciavega.proboards101.com/index.cgi?board=geography&action=display&thread=1192634786

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anyway, this is my solution to the gender problem.

get all the MRA's and radical feminists, put them in a big wooden pirate ship and make them row all the way to bouvet island, and then make them stay there for ever and ever and ever!! Maybe they will evolve into penguins!!?

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i bet they'd end up having sex with each other!! hypocrites eh?

men are just so logical, aren't they!

why do i keep hearing this statement from different areas of the male rights movement??

men are logical and women are emotional and illogical...

so, men are logical are they?

men are so logical that they hijack aeroplanes and fly them into buildings to kill as many innocent people as possible don't they?

men are so logical that they get married to a woman who steels their kids and all their money don't they?

yes, its male logic that makes them drive too fast and therefore the unsafest drivers with highest insurance premiums isnt it?

and, of course, its male logic that makes them pick up a gun and go and fight a war in a foriegn country based on a male politicians 'logical' lies right?

oh yeah but then theres male logic in action when they eat so much they weight half of a ton.

male logic in action!

hey, but wait lets look at the serial killer ted bundy who used to strangle his female victims. He got frazzled in the electric chair... wow, i have to hand it to you guys, your just so logical!!

but, then if thats your idea of logic, well, you're welcome to it xxx

of course, women, were not logical are we. When we are being intimidated by men, instead of arguing we become illogical to avoid the situation don't we. So, illogical isnt it, to run away from a bully..

were so illogical that we commit far less violent crime, bring up far more human beings and have a far lower rate of heart attacks because, obviously, we cant handle the stress we've caused ourselves..

yes female emotional responses are completely illogical aren't they.. we don't have to have sex with the next man down the street, we generally keep ourselves clean and we created a movement called feminism to stand up for ourselves as a group.

yes, we're just so emotional and illogical, and you men.. you are just so logical.

the thing is, men, (i'll treat you as a group, because clearly, men, are a no more than a group of logical thinkers..)

the thing is, that you don't realise, that its your logic not ours.

are we learning yet?

to all the men in my life...

you never argue, you storm out
you are terrified of arguing in public
you always want to save face, in front of your friends

why do you do this?

what is it that you are scared of, and why is it that you never let me know?










what is it that your protecting me from? you know.. i never asked you for it...

what is it that is so scary that you cannot look at me and tell me?

flowers, not guns

i realised something today, im no-where near as tough as i thought i was.

there is a guy in the anti-misandry forum who is taking all his personal hatred out in the world on me, im really scared of him. It occured to me just how you can get into situations like this.

i really really tried to be nice to him, i told him about my own insecurities and how maybe we could help each other, but he wouldn't accept it, and in fact, he was really aggresive against me and im glad that the internet is anonymous because he is really scary.

i know i can be a bitch, and i can wind people up and be insensitive sometimes, but i dont deserve what this person has been doing.

i was talking to another friend of mine on the same forum, and he says that sometimes people use internet forums to 'unload their emotional baggage', that i should just leave him to it and try and avoid him. He's right, sometimes i feel so close to men, and other times i feel like a world away. Today i expeirenced both of those feelings, so im tired and exhausted from an emotional roller coaster day.

still.. i had chance to go shopping and i bought myself a couple of dresses, so i feel good again now. Time to become feminine again.

i cant compete with men, i can't threaten them and i felt really scared today for the first time in a while. My partner is away on holiday and my kids are there too for a few days, so im feeling really lonely and i suppose any male attention i get right now, is just like.. wow, i love you so much. isnt life funny.

i offered this guy my hand in friendship, which is something i dont do normally these days, im scared of being hurt, but for the first time in my life, im actually glad i did the right thing.

he rejected it, he wants to hurt me, and make me feel like he feels. Well im sorry, but i dont, i feel good about myself, i gave you a chance to be friends with me, i could have cared for you, and worried about you.. treated you with love and with understanding, and you have thrown that away.

its funny how when you fear something so much you stop doing it, but then when you do it and it goes wrong, it can be a new found freedom in your life, something that can no longer scare you.

i haven't offered my hand in friendship for a long time, because i was scared of being rejected. now i've dont it, and been rejected, i feel no fear. Im happy with myself and maybe it can start a new chapter in my life.

tommorow, im going on holiday with my dad. he is a very caring, but highly emotional and reactionary person. I think he's very unhappy, he constantly searches for respect from his male friends, what is it about men that they feel so worried about how their friends see them, they are obssessed with status.

i think im going to find something else new tommorow -

i like this story, im getting better at reading it. Im not a big and tough, im a weak, emotional, doormat.. but i do know how to love, and i do know how to care for people, and you know what, im going to try not to be afraid to show it anymore.

i even made a picture of myself, with the words 'get fucked' in front of me. Thats the person they wanted me to become. The person that they are, people who have no feelings, people who do not get hurt because they dont know how to love. its not going to be me anymore. i am a pathetic doormat girl, a sponge for aggresive men to punch and kick me. you know what?

im going to smile at them. and im going to hand out flowers, not guns..

fee-mo-para-noi-ya

im going to write about all the thing i hate about my body, who knows, it might just make me feel better (although, i doubt it). Then im going to talk about the things i like, maybe that will help.

i hate the fact that i have straight shoulders. when i wear summer tops, they have to be super feminine or i think i look like i have mans shoulders. i dont really feel comfortable in excessively feminine tops, so i either feel really self conscious about looking like a man, or really self conscious about looking like a fairy..

my hips are not wide enough in relation to my shoulders, so again, i have to try and wear baggy trousers, which doesnt really work in summer. Again, skirts look better but, again, i dont want to look like sugar plum fairy either.

my tits are too small. i am size 38B. and barely a B at that. when you couple that with wide shoulders and small hips, i look really straight and not very curvy. Im like totally paranoid about what i wear everyday. i wish i could not be like that, but im lost as to how to avoid it.

i think i have a big nose, not enormous, but my mum's is the same. it never bothered me really, but i think you dont notice it until you hear other people who dont have big noses joking about people who do. what do i do to hide that? its difficult, but wearing my hair up tends to make it look a bit less harsh.. i like wearing my hair down, but i prefer wearing pony tails for that reason.

so, there we are.. hips, shoulders, nose and tits, i dont think there is anything else??..... nope..

now, lemme talk about the things i like.

i like my hair, and i like it everyday more because its getting longer and longer and longer.. i went through a stage of having short hair, what the hell was i thinking!

i think i've got pretty hands, so i like that, what else?

i like my tits, because in the same way they are too small, they tend to defy gravity a bit better and i have great sexy nipples which feel really sensitive too, so not all bad.

i think i've got fairly good skin tone too, but then i've heard lots of women say that, and i looked at them and thought, nah, actually, you look like a sun dried banana woman. So thats an easy one to mix up isnt it??

my legs are long, so good? but i'd rather be a bit smaller, im 5'9".

oh yeah and good teeth.

so there we are..

during writing this i just realised how bloody vane and narcisistic i am, because my personality has not entered into my thoughts at all, about things i like and things i dont.

i like the fact that i can be honest with myself, but i hate the fact that i am a paranoid, wierdo woman who is often scared to look people in the eye because im so self conscious about my body.

june evenings and womens football teams...

on monday, i was teaching a spanish class.

somebody found a pink cloudy my little pony or something like that, pen on the the floor.
someone offered it to the only male student in the class! he says... it cant be MINE can it!!

so why cant it be yours? what is it about the male social role that means they will not let themselves show a certain aspect of their personality. Poor C. i hope he doesnt mind me using him as an example?

i've been thinking about aspects of being female, where can i do things, where can i not? i think the most difficult thing about being a woman, is it is generally less acceptable to be scruffy. when you get a guy who walks into class wearing the same clothes that probably havent been washed in 5 months, nobody notices, or they just say.. he's just a young man. If i did it, i think it would signify some kind of sexual disfunction?

what else? well.. going out for a walk on your own past 6pm, people start wondering what you are doing. i have a river near to me, so when my partner is back from work it means i can escape for 15 minutes from my house. its june, its light, and the evenings are wonderful arent they? i love walking but im starting to realise that it makes me feel a bit uneasy these days. i'm not really sure what im saying here?

i suppose if someone found a football on the floor and they gave it to me, i'd probably be like.. er.. why are you giving it to me! (even though i love football). i suppose when that happens, i'm scared of the way other people view my sexual and gender identity? maybe thats what it is. I think everyone has male and female inside them are they are terrified to express it because nobody else does..

if a man picks up a pink pen, it must mean his is gay, wierd? maybe even a paedophile.

my god isnt this world bloody crazy.

no i mean it, this world is totally and completely round the bend..

actually i think that because he makes an issue of the pen being pink it does show some kind of conflict within him. Its like, i want to pick up this pen, but, there is NO WAY im doing it! im a man and men arent allowed to write with pink pens?

i've talked about the male role being very squeezed up, just like a lemon thats been used to make lemon juice

i think these days, women are like the lemon juice and men are the squeezed up remains. You cant have one without the other, but the circumstances are very different.

the question has to be for men, how can they change that around, how can they make it so it doesn't threaten their entire existence if they pick up a pink pen?

i've talked alot about this with men, both in reality and in the internet, and im torn between two arguments, one that says im right, and men need to get over these little fears they have.. and others who say, men dont want to become like women!! men want to go their own way.

i dont know what this means at all. im not sure they know what it means either? i hope they do, but i doubt it.

besides, how is using a pink pen becoming like a woman?? my god, they really do not understand at all do they? a pink pen, is something that might have made a young kid, probably a girl, smile sometime 5 years ago. lets get a bit of perspective here!!!

anyway, while i was out walking yesterday, there was a group of women footballers practising. the coach (a man, as per usual) kept looking at me.. im 5'9" and i can do 100 kick ups with a football.. he must have thought, hmm, is this a member of my team turning up late?

no, im not in a womans football team, and although i like football, something i saw in asda the other day really put me of it totally..

a womens team was collecting for a new strip. it was white and blue stripes with white socks. they were offering to do the packing in return for a small contribution, to be made in a bucket.

on the bucket it read.... 'the future of football is female...'

i didnt make a contribution, and thankfully the guy collecting (mangina) didnt bother asking me. I am a woman, but you know what, women are CRAP at football. Im about as good as it gets and compared to any bloke down the street im rubbish. I went through a phase in my mid teens where i thought that i was as physically able as a man. I thought i could objectify my feelings like them, but.. a few arm wrestles and a couple of games of table football later, and i had changed my mind...

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I can get bitter about things the other sex does better than me. but, thank god i came to that

conclusion as soon as i did. I learned to apreciate them instead of trying to be like them. Although deep down we're all the same aren't we?? what contradictions i live with inside myself.

oh well....

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so, anyway, the future of football is definately not female, and if it is, then football has no future. I love watching the way the men move around, how they drive and move the football around the pitch, the passion, the commitment that they show. I love the passion of it all, its something that feminism is scared of. well it doesnt scare me.. its brill. i love it.

womens football? balls of fat running around with a pony tail wiggling at the back? you cant tell which one is the ball and which one is the player can you? so....thanks, but no thanks. Dont try and tempt me into something that im not good at.

anyway, what does this mean? well, it occured to me just how deep routed the feminist agenda is in our minds.

A man collecting for a womans football team, with a bucket saying the future of football is female!...and, in a national supermarket chain

if they had asked me for a contribution, i would have said, 'i would have contributed, but i prefer watching men play, and as they have no future, why contribute!!!' or is that one of those thing i wished i had said, when really i'd not have said anything? who knows. as a woman though i think i have a responsibility to point these things out. The situation men are in is that they cannot even stand up forthemselves anymore. maybe if i start the ball rolling??

my god and people call me a feminist. that really gets on my nerves. I am not a feminist, feminists believe in women, MRA's believe in men. Lucia Vega believes in lucia vega and a hand full of men and women that i met in my life, on the internet and in my family. They tend to be left handed, but not always. I always like left handed people. They are normally a bit wierd, like me. But the really wierd ones are left handed and right footed, or right handed and left footed.

watch out for them!!!! im left handed and left footed. but i use scissors with my right hand.

so, dont get me wrong, some men do have a hell of a lot to learn from some women too. something the mens movement has not even tried to address. the mens movement certainly does not want the gaping differences between some men pointing out. they hate me when i do it..

oh yeah and has anyone noticed just how enormous the new generation of young men are.. i was in the park yesterday, and there were a group of them lying in the sun, and throwing a football around. they were enormous, big shoulders tanned in the sun, all of them at least 6 foot 2.

well at least they are getting fed properly, so its not all bad men, is it? somebody is looking after you somewhere....

why do young men withdraw from society?

why do young men withdraw from society?

what a difficult question to answer right??

well im not pretending to be up-to-date on the ins and outs of this question but i can give my own viewpoint from what i can see. I told myself long ago at university that i would never close down my creative thought just because i did not have facts to back it up. It is a recipe for disaster. Human nature and facts, dont mix very well.

anyway,

why do men withdraw?

well, to know completely you would have to interview every single one of them, impossible right? yes.. and even if you could, how do you know they are telling the truth? you don't.

so its left to people to theorise isnt it.

i think young men withdraw from society because its been stolen from them. Where these days can a young man express himself?

football? no, women's footballs on the increase isnt it? and its only an elite that perform on tele anyway.

the bar situation. something MRA's never understand about women, is that they only ever notice the ones that catch their eye.

when i was a teenager, like most of my friends, we used to go to the bar, stand around, getting drunk and hope and pray that some guy somewhere would come upto us and start some sort of interaction. It rarely happend, neither to me, or to my friends. The attention always goes to the ones that catch the eye. you know what? ALL the men focus on them, so they are on a hiding to nothing right? only a very small amount of men ever manage to catch this type of women, and it usually ends in tears.

the rest spend their time fighting with the others, and inventing some bravado story about what a man they are, when the truth is, that someone else got the girl. Young men need to recognise this. they need to reinvent what it is to be a failure as a man. You are not a failure, you just dont use your head enough...

i think lots of men grow out of this type of behaviour as they enter their twenties, but rejection by the alpha female, is not constructive is it? so. one reason.

why else might they withdraw? well, they are failing at schools arent they? or, at least, they are being beaten by girls. Im not a woman who will stand here and say girls are equally intellegent as men. In my experience men have a high intellectual level that seldom touches reality. They need the right woman to guide them along the right path, but when that happens they become unstoppable..

well, schools are no longer set up for boys. Read a spanish textbook? its full of pretty pictures, smiling faces.. and to be frank, its crap. To learn a language you need rigid grammar and blank boring exercises. I know this, and obviously feminising everything just turns boys (and to be honest, alot of girls) off. Smiling faces in a spanish book appeals to the lowest common denominator. Boys need to see language in action, they need to feel how it works, not sit in a boring class surrounded by silent and boring girls.

if i was a secondary teacher, i'd make them play football using spanish terms...

'dame el balon!'
'chuta, joder!'
'despeja, cabron!'

thats how some men learn better isnt it? i dont know. not all of them i suppose.

popular culture? well yeah, i watched TV last night and when the ads came on i counted how many adverts where 'gynocentric' (focused on women), at least 50% of them had a female carachter playing the main part. The others didnt really count as being gender based..

granted, i was watching desperate housewives, so its not going to be representative.. perhaps during the big match between man u and chelsea, the adverts are mostly male orientated. i dont know, i'll have to count.

but this isnt good for women either? it just makes us into empty vessels filled with unwanted needs that we can never fulfill.. so we look to men to fill this void created by advertising, and when they cannot, we blame them, and we try to change them until they fill our new found desires. So, nobody wins. The truth is, if it were upto me, i'd shoot the whole lot of advertising companies. Good job its not upto me i suppose..

anyway, what that means, is that men have no role at all in society, and women just consume. again, nobody wins.

however, its not all the fault of women. How many young men do i see when i go to the park with my daughters? not many.

men do not interact with children enough. i cant stress this enough. The male role i suppose does not encompass enough legroom to allow them to smile and enjoy childish games. Most women love being with children because it enables them to be a child again. I think men see this as not part of their role. Its no wonder they dont smile very much.

anyway, is it really true, are men withdrawing from society??

well, suicide levels are clearly very high amongst men. so that would suggest they are, but if you look at all the positions of political power they are almost always occupied by men, white men, normally. Hardly a sign of withdrawal?

no, what i think has happend, is that a 'cliche' or 'elite' of men has taken control of the world, and they dont want anyone else to join their gang. Women have never been allowed into power until now really, but what feminism missed, is that NEITHER were 90% of men.

this is were men and woman have to see our common goal. We are both oppressed by a overpowering class of people. Not just women, not just men. Please, i hope that one day, the MRA's and the feminist, will see their common interests.

i dont know the solution, but first you have to identify the problem.

feminism has also developed in a similar way, we are left with a 'cliche' of women, normally rabid man haters, who dont want anyone to join their club. At least, anyone who disagrees with them.

I dont see any future for women in following feminism at all. Eventually we will end up with the same situation we have now, accept with that cliche of women in charge. The ordinary woman on the street is no nearer to power than she was before.

i see young men walking around, waddling their shoulders, wearing their baggy trousers and oversized jumpers. Their jeans are so low down that i wonder how they stay up. have they withdrawn from society? more and more of them these days carry guns. Only a few months ago a young 17 year old was blown away not more than 1/2 mile away from me. Im scared, it terrifies me that these crazy mindless adolescents have the power to destroy everything that i have built in my life, and my children, for nothing other than a testosterone impulse.

i suppose im lucky, they look at me and dont see a threat. How could i be threatening to them? i wierdo woman walking down the street with a buggy and two small kids?

well, that 17 year old wasnt so lucky. Young men must be terrified to walk around these days. Each one of them so wants to prove what a man they are, and they now increasingly have the power to destroy. is this a sign of withdrawal? yes, they feel so desperate inside themselves that they have no value for either their own life, or that of someone else.

what has happend to them to become like this? what is missing from mens lives that they hate life so much?

why are they not taking part and instead killing themselves and each other?

i can't answer this question alone, i can only speculate and i think i do it badly alot of the time. I'm well aware of that having visited enough MRA websites and been called every name under the sun.

so, im a feminist am i? well.. listen to this..

rape is a primary destroyer of masculinity. I suppose most men, if they were allowed would go around raping, or at least, trying to have sex with as many women as possible.

rape, yes its a law that represses masculinity isnt it? perhaps they would all feel better if they could get the sexual release they strive for so much.

well.. i think the first step to sorting out the problem with men, is legalising prostitution. If they want to fuck, let them.. they have to pay for it and its not a problem, some women enjoy it. I've no idea how they can enjoy it, but they do. Good for them.

i think the reason it's illegal, is it maintains the ordinary man from thinking about moving up in the world. he is too bothered about getting rid of his sexual needs, and will do anything to get a release that is missing, blow people away, slit his wrists, screw up his school work. Anything.

so, thats the first step. after that, its upto men to decide, i cant help them.

whats missing for men??

what things might men ask for from the mens movement?

so far i havent seen too much thinking on men's part about where they want to be in 10 years time.

what is it, that has made them begin to form movements to change things?

what is it that they feel is missing from their lives?

well, i can only speculate but its what i like doing so here we go with a few ideas that i dreampt up last night...

i think men are missing out on parenting. i've got two young children of my own, and i work part-time. I have lots of time on my own with them, my partner also works part-time so we spend alot of our days together, with our children. Young children can turn a macho men into a loving caring father in no time at all.

maybe when a father looks at his child smile, when he realises that he has taught that child how to say daddy, that he has taught her that jumping up and down is fun! maybe he will also realise that people, that women, love him.

i think the modern man is far too detached from this. I dont know the answer, i suppose somebody has to work full time at some point? i dont know. But definately men need more time with children. You know what, im sick of going to the park and seeing only women. Men are great with kids, and not just them, but kids are missing out too.

so, longer paternity leave?? 2 years at least!! why not 3.

i think men are not allowed to show their sexuality in public. Much as i love a man in a suit, most male clothes, are practical, and not revealing. They represent security and not sexuality. I dont know how, but male fashion needs to exploit the male body more. I dont think any woman would have a problem with that!! again how and why, i dont know.. im not a fashion designer.

so, better male clothes

obviously, there are laws and things like that that are totally repressive of men. I dont know the ins and outs of those, and im sure lots of other guys know more than me about it. but i have to say that young women these days, are too aware of their privilidges over men in the eyes of the law. Its the same as the kids in the schools.

i've taugh in secondary schools, and the kids know far too much.. 'dont touch me', 'your not allowed to do this', etc. I think its destroying education and i would apply it further to the outside world too.

my sister goes to see the doctor because she's pregnant. She refuses to show her breasts to the doctor, and yet, when she goes to spain and is sunbathing she's got no problem showing them off to every tom, dick and harry. What kind of mess is that? its apalling the amount of respect young women have for good, decent male AND even female professionals these days.

it gets worse.. i had rosacea once, a mild skin problem that normally appears on the breasts.. i go to the doctor and as im about to take my top of to show him, he refuses! as their is no female nurse there, he wont look at them. He's scared of looking at me incase i cry abuse, rape or whatever shit feminism has invented to punish the poor guy.

so, without even looking at me, he prescribes me something for the problem.. who wins there? not me, because he's not treating me properly. not him, because he's in that awkward position that men (and teachers) find themselves in all the time these days.

Men have to stand up and say this. They have to point out the ridiculous contradictions with which the modern woman lives.

i want to know where men want to be. i want to know whats missing to make them so angry at ordinary women.

whats so bad about pluto??

<--- Alpha-Centauri, closest star to the sun

let me apologize, not all men are from pluto. Someone said to me that to say men were from pluto is a feminist way of saying that they are all wierd, like, they are further away from earth and therefore less in touch with reality..

well.. you know, my page is called from the planet neptune, and pluto, is an escaped satelite of neptune isnt it? so, maybe we should get on well then? I love astronomy, its my favourite thing, whenever i feel bad, i look up at the sky and think, this is a planet, and im this tiny thing on the planet, and out there, is space, and we know nothing really about it.. It kinda makes me feel better. My dad taught me the names of all the bright stars in the sky. I quite like pluto, but its not my favourite planet, i'll admit that much.

i think people should get to know me before they make assumptions about my "feminist tendancies"

anyway, i was feeling a bit upset last night when i wrote the below article, because i dont think men understand just how intimidating they can be sometimes. They have a bigger physical presence, in reality, and i think in cyberspace too. Its part of being a man that you are big, and part of being a woman that they are bigger than you.

so where is this going? i have been involved in a forum lately, here is the link i you want to read it http://mathews.me.uk/forum/showthread.php?t=4961

i've come to the conclusion that lots of men dont really understand their feelings very well, they tend to intellectualise them, and objectify themselves. I dont really know why they do this, i suppose, if you lose an argument, you dont get hurt so much? if you argue as if you were someone else, then they cant get down into your most intimate feelings can they?

either that, or men are from alpha-centaurai, and really have no feelings, are empty-vessels that spew out dictatory lectures on what superior creatures they are. Please guys, let me know which one it is, im really trying here...

im starting to understand this movement a bit better.. what we have, is alot of nice men, who have been treated badly by women for whatever reason, they are pissed off. Rightly so. Im scared that they are going to do protect other men who arent quite so nice, at the expense of women who are. Guys, i do believe in what you are doing. Men are not allowed to sit on aeroplanes next to children anymore. This really is a world gone mad, and whenever i've talked to men while out with my children, they are really fun. Men that like children are pretty cool really, they are easy to relate too.

these men have been stuffed by aload of bitchy idiot women, and lots of similarly idiotic men, who here the world paedophile, and screw up any relationship normal men might have with children who are not their own.

just remember, guys, feminists want you to view things along the lines of gender. They want you to think that all women are the same. Dont fall for their propaganda. Lots of women are thick, and spew out feminist stuff, but they dont really believe in it. If you learn how to communicate with them, perhaps you could help your movement. But, of course, that would mean becoming, anecdotal, and expressing feelings.... scared are we?

men, you have along way to go...

men are from pluto

forget mars, men are from pluto.

it has just occured to me, that i really dont understand men AT ALL.

i make a joke and they reply with an essay saying why im wrong

i try and help them and they tell me im the enemy

i guess that there must be somewhere in their heads that clicks on when they are talking to men, and clicks off when they talk to women? i dont know.. please men, correct me if im wrong.

well, im not beaten im going to try more from now on. and if any men read this, it is NOT an attack on you, i just dont understand you very well, but at least im trying.

I think we love each other even if sometimes it is difficult to translate what we are expressing.

also, kinda changing subject a bit, there are several fallacies in the male rights movements that men should think about:

men are more logical.

i think thats not true, they are just more logical when it suits them.
in fact most "macho" activities actually are based on proving just how illogical you are
for example:

Supporting a football team to the death that never wins

Driving a car to fast to prove yourself
shooting 32 university students and killing yourself

men earned the right to vote

no, SOME men, 100's of years ago earned the right to vote. Men today did no more than any women did. They kinda forgot that while they took all the credit for what a group of unrelated men did 100 years ago.

i wont marry! im going to live alone!

how many times do they say this?
i dont believe that men can just turn of their emotions, maybe they would like us to think that. Men love women and women love men. I think the people that advocate this, advocate it because:

1) no woman in her right mind would EVER marry them (see gonzokid, SYG forum) and its better to be seen as not wanting to marry, than not BEING ABLE too..
2) they have been hurt somewhere by a woman, and they say they are not going to marry to try and hurt women, as a whole group
3) they are scared of marrying a woman that will then divorce them and steal everything. Well, women are scared of getting married too. You just have to make sure you dont end up with that type of woman! its not that difficult duh!

its the circumstances, not the gender

i think that alot of the problems in mis-communication between men and women are that they find it difficult to step into the other's shoes.

alot of women get very demoralised, confused and angry, when their man does something on his own, which in the case of men can predominantly be porn, or masterbation related. They dont see it for what it is, they feel jealous of the women he is looking at, they feel deflated because he is supposed to be with them, not looking at the women in the porno. It means for women that they have no control what is going on in his life for a period of time. They cannot choose which image he looks at, or what he does while he's looking at, which they can during sex with him.

what they dont understand, is that life as a man, must be very hard sometimes, and i am convinced that pornography forms some kind of release for men, they escape from the real world for a few minutes. The women they look at do exactly what they want, they are in control of their own pleasure and for how ever long it takes (and some men can take FOREVER) they dont have to think about worries and problems.

i dont think alot of women really understand this, they think when their man looks at porn, that its somehow about them. That the guy is escaping from them, that he is somehow using his sexuality as a weapon against them. They dont realise what he gets from it, they only see a locked door. The mind worries about what it does not know..











what is he doing in there????

men, if you see a locked door, and you know your girlfriend, who you love, is inside and you have a pretty good idea she is looking at other men, how would you feel? worried, scared, inadequate, rejected?

the whole situation is dictated by circumstances. In this circumstance the man is the one who knows whats going on, the woman the one who doesn't. It has nothing to do with gender at all. Most men given the same situation, would feel the same way as the woman.

Women also need sexual release too of course. From my experience, probably based again, on circumstance rather than gender, female sexuality has developed in a different way. I think the control women like is too have people look at them but also be in control. So, for a man locked away in his room looking at porn, the female equivalent is wearing something that shows of your body a bit, something that makes people look at you. I know what this is like, only the other day i was teaching, i had a low cut top on and one of my students (male) while i was trying to explain something couldn't help but try and look at my tits. Poor guy, its my fault just as much as it is his. I felt a bit embarrased because i didnt realise it was so obvious, and he just got on with things. In this is where i get my own release, my own de-stress session. I go home and think, well actually, i do feel like a woman sexually again, i dont need to do anything about it now. It then disapears and comes back again a few days later, in exactly the same way as it does to the guy i guess? I think what im trying to say, is that female sexuality, is not really a private realm, its not something they can do in private. Whats the point in me looking at myself in a mirror? its much better to have someone looking at me. But the end result, is the same, pornography, or low cut tops - we get a release of stress and we feel ok again about ourselves for a bit.

There is obviously a difference between the two though. Men locking themselves in a room, is generally considered wierd, whereas a woman showing of her body a bit, is not. Thats where it is wrong. So, the lesson here is for women.

Let him get on with it, just like he lets you get on with wearing clothes that make you feel good about yourself. Remember, if circumstance where different, it could be you locked in the room, and he could be the socially acceptable face of sexuality, just like you are now. Be grateful, and let him get on with it.