Wednesday 28 November 2007

angry woman!

i was quite appalled today.

why?

because i went to drop my children of at the local nursery. There was some kind of stall that was giving away little nicki-nacky kids things so i had a look.

a lady confronts me, and gives me a questionaire, basically asking if i was suffering from, or, if i knew anyone who was suffering from domestic violence.

its appalling, my partner knows the people at this nursery and he drops them of as often as i do. Yet, while he's not there, like the true cowards they are, they ask me in so many words, if he is guilty of beating me up. You know, i have standards, and this was disgusting.

who the hell do these people think they are? seriously, who are they? they think they know better than my own relationship with my husband? how dare they try and stick their nose in MY relationship!

all around were posters saying 'does he make you feel small?' - isn't domestic violence a unisex subject? aparently not. I normally ignore this kind of thing, but you could replace the he with blacks, whites, and suddenly it would become wrong wouldn't it? I can see that. Im not an airheaded sheep.

you know what, this is a sure start, state run nursery, its a kids place. They are encouraging women to snitch on their unsuspecting husbands. I have to say im horrified by it. Im starting to worry about what other propanganda they are trying to put in my kids heads..

i feel like the sad truth is, that these people rarely find anyone who is actually suffering from domestic violence, they just construct witch-hunts against innocent and decent caring men who can't control themselves socially very well. I've seen how men act, in situations like this. They cower away in the corner.

enough is enough. I've always said i would stand up for decent family men, and i am absolutely disgusted by this.

you know, i think domestic violence is appalling, but i also think that air headed people trying to destroy family relationships at a local nursery, is just as appalling. There was another man there, he often drops of his kids. Nobody gave him anything, nobody gave him any information, or nicky-nacks. He was isolated, left alone. I felt sorry for him, but i felt more angry at the way these people thought that i was more interested in them, than in my husband.. that i would snitch on him, for their cause?

the only question is, what do i do about it? how do i support my man in such a hostile situation?

and how do men cope with this kind of situation, and why dont they start standing up for themselves? perhaps i was wrong about machoman. Im starting to like him.

or maybe they deserve it for letting things get into this state..

wow i really am going from one extreme to another!

im a roller coaster

Tuesday 27 November 2007

im confused

i just realised im not banned anymore from antimislaundry.com. I went back there and i have to say im really confused about this whole thing. Part of me wants to go back in there, because i do believe in the family with men in it, i can see through lots of the lies some women and men have told, and i do believe in some of the things they talk about. I dont want people to feel bad, and unhappy. Its not right.

but, the problem is, im just about to say something when suddenly i think of all the men that have treated me badly in my life. Men who have treated me like i had no feelings and that i was a peice of shit. Men who have made me feel that i am worthless and that i have no value for anybody. Men who have made me wish i was dead.

How can i possibly support them? am i supporting them if i go back in?

they think they are something new, and yet all i really see is the same old know-it-all insensitive men that i have come to recognise and have developed a huge distaste for. Im so confused about it all. I just don't beleive them, i dont think they care about anyone? and yet for some unknown reason to me, i am still drawn towards them. Deep down, they dont care about each other.. do they? deep down, i mean...

its all lies isnt it, just like before? when it comes to an end, their ideas, theories and ego are more important than someone elses feelings arent they?

why should i let myself get involved in this again, open my heart again for people who do not care?

im asking a question here. nobody ever answers it, do they?

maybe its in my nature to be drawn to the people that treat me the worst..

its difficult isnt it? when you are not accepted for who you are..

im confused.. what do i do?

Sunday 25 November 2007

my new obsessions!!



dear diary..


i haven't forgot about you, i've just been a bit busy lately and i've become obsessed with air crashes. There is a program thats on everynight on national geographic channel and its more interesting than going on the internet, so im now an expert on air crashes!!


i'll come back soon when i've got something interesting to say! dont forget about me!
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did you know that those planes can fly without engines?? i always thought that they would just fall out of the sky with a big 'plosh!'
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isn't that interesting!?
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there was one that ran out of fuel above the atlantic and managed to glide to the azore islands, and nobody was hurt at all.
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and also i found this geography quiz game where you have to click on the cities its giving me a headache but its one of those addictive things that you can stop playing.

Sunday 4 November 2007

hello! im here hello!! can you hear me?! angry man!



something thats been getting on my nerves a bit lately, is every time i speak to a bloke about gender relations, im met by a torrent of abuse about how women supposedly are. I feel like they direct it at me! yeah.. its all my fault isnt it?
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and you, of course! are blameless arent you!
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its all her fault isnt it my little one!
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anyway, i sit there twiddling my thumbs, umming and erring and feeling a bit uncomfortable while thinking.. you just dont have a clue do you! you are so blinded by your hatred of women that you can't even see it when one is sitting in front of you who doesn't fit your stereotypes!

women are materialistic, intolerant, illogical, nasty, bitchy, blah blah blah, ma ma ma, ba ba ba...
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well... next time you've been married to the entire 3 billion women in the world, then maybe we'll talk about that eh? Its not my fault you've got no taste, is it?
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im getting rather bothered by hearing this again and again. Im not a human punch bag, and i have feelings too you know? no... you dont know do you!
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Im not the type of person to start arguments but one of these days im going to tell them exactly what i think of men! and im going to tell it to them as if it were there own personal fault and that they are responsible for it..
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if we are to get on, somewhere someone has to compromise.. and its not going to be me forever is it my sunshine?
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im starting to lose my patience a bit and its not like me.
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i really dont know if they are talking to me, or talking through me or what they are doing.
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hello! im here hello!! can you hear me! angry man!
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next time this happens im going to say that three times and maybe they'll go away and leave me to face my fate in peace..