dear diary,
how do i start writing this? well i suppose i'm going to write down what i've experienced, thought about and felt over the last 4 weeks.
my partner A. and i spend alot of our time travelling between countries, we work in Britain and whenever we get holidays we've always gone back to Spain.
A. is from there, yes i'm married to a spaniard, or 'spanish' as A. would prefer i called him as he hates the word spaniard. I suppose its not that nice a word is it? Both my daughters have dual nationality so A. is trying hard to make sure that they get an upbringing that reflects both their family origins, both spanish and from planet neptune.
i always respected that, in fact, i encouraged it, i always liked going to Spain and as a sociologist i was fascinated by its people, culture and history.
Spain has a unique modern history to that of the rest of western europe. It never took part in the second world war and the spanish base most of their recent identity on the result of the spanish civil war, won by Franco in 1938, shortly before the break out of the second world war.
Prior to Franco's victory Spain had for the first time elected a reformist left-wing government popular with the people. Franco's uprising crushed spains elected government and set up a dictatorship.
Franco was a small awkward looking man, and i suspect alot of his ideology was based around his own inability to compete with better looking men. He outlawed public shows of affection, as he had never got any when young? his wife stayed with him for the duration of his premiership, but his daughter was always rumoured to be adopted and i have suspicions that Franco just couldn't get it up. He hated people who had healthy sex lives.
In fact, wasn't hitler much the same? a slightly strange looking man (not THAT small though, which is a common misconception, hitler was actually around 5'9" so pretty average for a man of his generation). The only woman hitler ever really let himself desire was his neice Geli, and she commited suicide. Eva Brown was around for along time but did they really love each other? i doubt it. Hitler couldn't love anyone, neither could Franco, thats why they ended up the way they did.
Both had strange fantasy ideas about what women should be, innocent, beautiful and compliant. Hardly reality is it. I think they both wanted to control women and they failed.
anyway, Spain is probably due to Franco's repressive regime, a very conformist place, and although the young generations are slowly moving away from the past, when you walk down the main street in Santander, you would do well to spot a single old woman in trousers, or a single old man who was not wearing a chequed shirt and chinos. They all look the same, i suppose they were taught that when they were young, and nobody has ever stood up against it. Wierdos from planet neptune don't really fit in very well in spain.
This type of repression, freedom of expression, is perhaps only marginally better than the muslim world and i think spending a lifetime conforming to Franco's bitter ideas, has led to many feelings of bitterness and resentment amongst the old generation in Spain. Old people in Santander STARE at you. They look at you like you are filth if you are not wearing what they think is correct. I can think of 5 or 6 seperate occasions over the last month when that has happend to me. It's very intimidating, and if you come from a country where its considered rude to stare (britain) and combine that with lots of insecurity complexes and general low self esteem (me) it can really take some getting over. Yeah i've felt like total shit on many occasions there.
A. says that this is normal and you get used to it when you are born there. I can't get used to people staring nastily at me. Its horrible and it makes me feel like i am worthless. Its so hard to look them back in the eye, and im the type of person that avoids peoples stares when i can.
there are things i like about spain, but this isn't one of them.
Feminism hasn't yet hit Spain and as a young(ish) woman you have to be careful not to let them get to you. Some men in spain, especially older men, think it is their god given right to make you feel like shit. Its not just older men though, younger men have a very low opinion of women, i was out walking one night and it was a nice evening, one of those when it's warm and you can hear crickets singing in the background, when two young guys walk past me, stare at me and one of them whispers something to the other and they both laugh. They then walk on and shout something at a young girl across the road. Morons, they like feeling powerful by making women feel afraid and scared.
The only irony is that if you knew anything about Spain, you'd think these two guys were the typical spanish moron, who next week will be in the obituaries column of the local paper, having died in a motorcycle accident, crushed under some car somewhere, driven by another gilipollas as if he was fernando alonso in a residential area full of children playing. Macho man is alive and well in spain, and he will mow you down if you don't get out of his way.
they are so clever aren't they? until they are dead of course..
Spain needs some kind of feminine resistance to this, how far it goes is something that needs to be watched. Macho man in spain needs a leash putting round his neck.
I am aware of the evils of feminism in Britain, and english men are sometimes so ridiculously feminised, but something has to be done in Spain. Feminists are scary, but they normally aren't behind the wheel of a 10 ton truck trying to mow you down as you drive down the autopista.
the thought of how bad it must be in the muslim world is even more scary, but then who cares.. im not going to live in tehran anytime soon i hope.
i would complain wouldn't i though? im a woman and i dont understand that men are 'slaves to testosterone' do i? hahaha i dont care, it doesn't give you the right to ruin my life does it.
thats what i was told by a friend of my fathers recently, that men are 'slaves to testosterone'!
yeah, thats probably why he has 5 kids to 3 different mothers. such a slave isn't he.
anyway,
im pleased to be back for now, and my hair always looks much better in england. It gets so greasy in spain and looks like i've been licked and spat out by a cow.
oh yeah and i've lost 1kg! that has to be good news.
how do i start writing this? well i suppose i'm going to write down what i've experienced, thought about and felt over the last 4 weeks.
my partner A. and i spend alot of our time travelling between countries, we work in Britain and whenever we get holidays we've always gone back to Spain.
A. is from there, yes i'm married to a spaniard, or 'spanish' as A. would prefer i called him as he hates the word spaniard. I suppose its not that nice a word is it? Both my daughters have dual nationality so A. is trying hard to make sure that they get an upbringing that reflects both their family origins, both spanish and from planet neptune.
i always respected that, in fact, i encouraged it, i always liked going to Spain and as a sociologist i was fascinated by its people, culture and history.
Spain has a unique modern history to that of the rest of western europe. It never took part in the second world war and the spanish base most of their recent identity on the result of the spanish civil war, won by Franco in 1938, shortly before the break out of the second world war.
Prior to Franco's victory Spain had for the first time elected a reformist left-wing government popular with the people. Franco's uprising crushed spains elected government and set up a dictatorship.
Franco was a small awkward looking man, and i suspect alot of his ideology was based around his own inability to compete with better looking men. He outlawed public shows of affection, as he had never got any when young? his wife stayed with him for the duration of his premiership, but his daughter was always rumoured to be adopted and i have suspicions that Franco just couldn't get it up. He hated people who had healthy sex lives.
In fact, wasn't hitler much the same? a slightly strange looking man (not THAT small though, which is a common misconception, hitler was actually around 5'9" so pretty average for a man of his generation). The only woman hitler ever really let himself desire was his neice Geli, and she commited suicide. Eva Brown was around for along time but did they really love each other? i doubt it. Hitler couldn't love anyone, neither could Franco, thats why they ended up the way they did.
Both had strange fantasy ideas about what women should be, innocent, beautiful and compliant. Hardly reality is it. I think they both wanted to control women and they failed.
anyway, Spain is probably due to Franco's repressive regime, a very conformist place, and although the young generations are slowly moving away from the past, when you walk down the main street in Santander, you would do well to spot a single old woman in trousers, or a single old man who was not wearing a chequed shirt and chinos. They all look the same, i suppose they were taught that when they were young, and nobody has ever stood up against it. Wierdos from planet neptune don't really fit in very well in spain.
This type of repression, freedom of expression, is perhaps only marginally better than the muslim world and i think spending a lifetime conforming to Franco's bitter ideas, has led to many feelings of bitterness and resentment amongst the old generation in Spain. Old people in Santander STARE at you. They look at you like you are filth if you are not wearing what they think is correct. I can think of 5 or 6 seperate occasions over the last month when that has happend to me. It's very intimidating, and if you come from a country where its considered rude to stare (britain) and combine that with lots of insecurity complexes and general low self esteem (me) it can really take some getting over. Yeah i've felt like total shit on many occasions there.
A. says that this is normal and you get used to it when you are born there. I can't get used to people staring nastily at me. Its horrible and it makes me feel like i am worthless. Its so hard to look them back in the eye, and im the type of person that avoids peoples stares when i can.
there are things i like about spain, but this isn't one of them.
Feminism hasn't yet hit Spain and as a young(ish) woman you have to be careful not to let them get to you. Some men in spain, especially older men, think it is their god given right to make you feel like shit. Its not just older men though, younger men have a very low opinion of women, i was out walking one night and it was a nice evening, one of those when it's warm and you can hear crickets singing in the background, when two young guys walk past me, stare at me and one of them whispers something to the other and they both laugh. They then walk on and shout something at a young girl across the road. Morons, they like feeling powerful by making women feel afraid and scared.
The only irony is that if you knew anything about Spain, you'd think these two guys were the typical spanish moron, who next week will be in the obituaries column of the local paper, having died in a motorcycle accident, crushed under some car somewhere, driven by another gilipollas as if he was fernando alonso in a residential area full of children playing. Macho man is alive and well in spain, and he will mow you down if you don't get out of his way.
they are so clever aren't they? until they are dead of course..
Spain needs some kind of feminine resistance to this, how far it goes is something that needs to be watched. Macho man in spain needs a leash putting round his neck.
I am aware of the evils of feminism in Britain, and english men are sometimes so ridiculously feminised, but something has to be done in Spain. Feminists are scary, but they normally aren't behind the wheel of a 10 ton truck trying to mow you down as you drive down the autopista.
the thought of how bad it must be in the muslim world is even more scary, but then who cares.. im not going to live in tehran anytime soon i hope.
i would complain wouldn't i though? im a woman and i dont understand that men are 'slaves to testosterone' do i? hahaha i dont care, it doesn't give you the right to ruin my life does it.
thats what i was told by a friend of my fathers recently, that men are 'slaves to testosterone'!
yeah, thats probably why he has 5 kids to 3 different mothers. such a slave isn't he.
anyway,
im pleased to be back for now, and my hair always looks much better in england. It gets so greasy in spain and looks like i've been licked and spat out by a cow.
oh yeah and i've lost 1kg! that has to be good news.
16 comments:
A month holidaying in Spain and all you can do is moan and complain! Maybe try looking on the bright side and count your blessings? Most people in the world would love a month holiday in spain. I know I would.
i suppose so
although i think im more talking about spain rather than complaining, i've lived there for around 2 years in total so its not so much like going on holiday anymore.
maybe if i was going to the costa del col for a month i'd see it as more of a holiday but im staying in my parents in law's flat and they are very controlling
You complain about the behaviour of men in Spain, but its no worse than that of the average British woman here!
thats not true, the average british woman doesn't have the physical power to intimidate men who walk down the street. Its not the same at all.
men in britain have a different set of problems.
Statistically speaking, its young men who are most likely to be the victim of a street attack. So women have less to fear than other men do.
But women can make far worse threats to men: legal threats and can force a man into financial ruin.
Also, women in this country think its cool to act like total sluts, yet at the same time look down their nose at decent men.
well, young men who get attacked get attacked mostly by young men. Thats a problem that men have to sort out for themselves.
macho men cause the problem, not women..
i dont exactly see how i am supposed to make a legal threat to some random guy i don't know.
some young women act like "sluts" because men give them attention. They are taught they have only sexual value and no other. If they got no attention from men for it they would not behave in such a way
macho men cause the problem..
and you know, young women in spain don't act in such a way and still get abused by agressive and nasty predatative males. Its exactly the same, it has no relevance what clothes women wear, or how women act.
macho men are the problem, again.
decent men are being screwed by macho men. Its got nothing to do with women at all.
if only women really had all this power..
How predictable! If any man is the victim of another man, then women don't give a shit. Funny how most of these young male criminals are raised by single mothers. Yet to you the problem is masculinity itself.
Basically the way women think is that they are NEVER responsible for anything that happens in society.
If I thought like a woman, I could say:
Oh its not my fault that I have 20 sexual partners a year, its the women's fault for allowing me to seduce them!
Oh its not my fault that I go around robbing people, its their fault for buying expensive mobile phones and carrying money around with them!
If women dress like total sluts, act like drunken pigs, and basically look down their nose at men like me and go against everything I stand for, then I ask: Why the heck should I care if they don't "feel safe" when they are walking around? Why do *I* have to have more responsibility for the way that marvin-the-mugger acts than she does, just because I happen to share a Y chromosome?
Funny how most of these young male criminals are raised by single mothers. Yet to you the problem is masculinity itself.
its funny, how you say women never take responsibility for anything, yet in the same sentence you talk about single mothers bringing up their children (i.e. taking responsibility).
Bit of a contradiction isn't it?
did you ask yourself where the father was??
such great responsbility takers men, arent you.
Basically the way women think is that they are NEVER responsible for anything that happens in society.
yes we all think exactly the same way! we have our brains connected up in a world wide conspiracy to repress and exploit the male gender..
anonymous (do you have a name) my advice to you, is open your eyes. Some women are like what you describe but lots more of us aren't.
not all men are absent fathers, and not all spanish males stare at you in the street.
the difficulty is in seeing past the gender, to the real person underneath. Some of us are nice, and others aren't. It has nothing to do with our sex.
its the circumstances that we find ourselves that can be very different in different countries, thats what im trying to say in my article.
if you don't like that type of woman, who drinks alot and acts like a slut, then don't go looking for her..
Interesting post my dear woman..
You seem to have a fixation with the mythical macho man being responsible for all of societies ills..
I think you aught to open your mind a bit wider, i am sure you could see a few other angles on this if you wanted to try..
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well, young men who get attacked get attacked mostly by young men. Thats a problem that men have to sort out for themselves.
macho men cause the problem, not women..
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I think that such men are not really "macho", I would call them drunken idiots in the main!
Often fighting over women, who are pleased to see this, but more often because they are just drunk.. Or want drugs money etc..
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i dont exactly see how i am supposed to make a legal threat to some random guy i don't know.
some young women act like "sluts" because men give them attention. They are taught they have only sexual value and no other. If they got no attention from men for it they would not behave in such a way
macho men cause the problem..
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Bit of a leap there!.. Now tell me.. Who teaches women that they have sexual value and no other?
Who tells women that they need male attention?
I hardly think it is "macho men"..
I would think that its just the nature of women to want to be sexy, to want to get male attention.. If they dont want it from macho men, they its hardly logical to blame that type of man!
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and you know, young women in spain don't act in such a way and still get abused by agressive and nasty predatative males. Its exactly the same, it has no relevance what clothes women wear, or how women act.
macho men are the problem, again.
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I think that antisocial behaviour is not the monopoly of one stereotyped male type!
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decent men are being screwed by macho men. Its got nothing to do with women at all.
if only women really had all this power..
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Women are never responsible for anything that happens to men, obviously!
I dont see the average lawyer or politician as being "macho".. far from it! More usually, feminised wimps and women!
And the lawyers and the state are the means by which men get the shaft!
All at a womans whim, of course!
drex its to your credit that you are one of few people i've talked to in my life that makes me think.
I would think that its just the nature of women to want to be sexy, to want to get male attention..
its in women's nature to want to attract a mate yes, i think your right.
i think you give a good account of a bigger picture, including lawyers and the state that in countries like Britain, do seem lately to be very misandric.
but spain is not the same country. it has no chivalry, and its ok for men to hit women. Macho men in spain bully women, not men. Its something that you have to understand before you can compare to different cultures.
Franco ruled spain for 40 years and he hated any men who showed any signs of frailty or weakness. Only men in spain born in the last decade or so are developing into more balanced human beings.
People like you drex, who have ideas, were either shot or had to escape spain when franco was there. Or you had to keep your mouth shut. Either you obeyed, or you were killed.
That kind of social repression has a massive effect on the general population, and it meant that many women were beaten and even murdered by their husbands who could not handle their situation.
Not all men were like that, thankfully, but it happend, and as it has a history, it continues to happen in spain. As a woman, you are the bottom of the pile. It is a very different world to feminised britain, and thats what im trying to say.
You have to try and adapt to different circumstances when you find yourself in a different place.
I think that such men are not really "macho", I would call them drunken idiots in the main!
i call them macho because the behaviour they display would probably be described as masculine.
i don't often see gay men walking around looking for fights in the
street.
lots of men today are blaming women for the flaws in their own personalities.
'if only women didn't do this or that'
isn't it about time men starting getting their own shop in order before pointing the finger?
In a reply to anon, you pointed a contradiction. I'd like to mention that for many single mothers, bringing up the child isn't about taking responsibility, it's about taking control and taking an easy option... after all, nowadays she gets her money for free, gets kids looked after for free, etc. etc. hardly a responsibility is it?
Also, women have been doing to men for decades what you say men are doing to them; namely blaming women for their own personalities.
You can't exactly a blame a guy who's done nothing wrong for being kicked out his child's life at the whim of a selfish woman.
there's always two sides to every story, everybody always thinks they are the victim.
For example, you have two women in your forum that play victims, with sob stories of child abuse, yet, child abuse, has nothing at all to do with the mens movement. Thats called a hidden agenda. You and I both know, that its the women who falsely claim or exagerate child abuse, that have put men in such a difficult position, relating to children.
I've seen men who are afraid to even touch young children on the shoulder, for fear of being labelled paedophile or abuser. That is wrong. Yet within your forum you have people expecting sympathy for stories, that frankly, are women's problem and have no relation to the mens movement. Everybody loves them, and they have their claws dug right into your forum.
You have to ask yourself what is their real agenda and why are they
there. Whenever i asked them that, they either avoided the question, or changed the subject.
Others in your forum have killed and murdered, and others probably would do as they cannot control their urge to win no matter what tactics they use or, who they take with them.
don't you ever wonder about the kind of people, that your forum is protecting?
They've wrapped most of your forum round their little fingers, under the banner of male rights, yet, male rights, have nothing to do with their actions.
i've always beleive in making things better for men, whereas your forum, has become a shelter for freaks and wierdos to commiserate their stories of how badly they have been treated. I guess you have to ask yourself in which direction you want to go in.
from what i've read of your story, you have been involved in difficult situations, that when they involve family members, like your children, must be really difficult to live through.
i can't imagine what its like to have a child stolen from you, and you have my deepest sympthies, but i can't be part of a forum filled with such damaged people anymore, im a pretty normal woman really and im moving on to find something new to interest me.
when celtic druid start attacking me on the basis of how i look, and nobody said he was wrong, in fact, they congratulated him, i know that i am not in a place that i will ever find anybody i want to have in my life.
I don't see you as being like most of the people in your forum, you have a few genuine members, who i feel genuinely concerned for and would help if they would let me.
I think you unlike most of your forum members, have accepted what has happend to you and i think you know what its like to feel hurt and pain, and not look for someone else to blame, like me. Lots of others in your forum, only feel the need for revenge, and i've been their scapegoat for along time and i've had enough.
As a man who is capable of empathising and feeling pain, you are along way ahead of them and i think you're wasting your time involving yourself with people who are damaged beyond repair. However, while you sit on the fence, they will take over your principles and replace them with their own. Celtic Druid now thinks that he is in charge of your movement. I never even tried to attack him personally. It would be a different story if i did, but i have better things to do with my time.
If you look at feminism, you might be a moderate, but most of the people in your forum are extreme to the edge of reason. They are surrounded by vulture women who only care about their own sob stories or wierd religous beliefs.
my advice to you is that you can't learn how to be normal, and happy, from people, who are not normal, and will never be happy.
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