running, ducks and waiting for a resolution..

im in one of those moods tonight, where you feel like your leaving something behind, like the sun is setting on a part of your life and you haven't yet found anything to put in its place? its like you are faced with the empty reality of life once again and you need something quickly to distract you?

i've changed alot today. isn't it funny how you can go years without changing and then overnight you are a different person?

you know, its been a nice day today, A. goes out in the morning, so i'm left with the kids until 12:30. We went down to the river to feed the ducks, its really nice down there early in the day, not many people around, everyone smiles at each other. Im starting to really enjoy parenting. Its the best thing about my life by along way and i don't know how i lived with out it.

However, it got a bit scary because N. and L. can't throw very far so alot of the bread ended up landing on the shore and meant the swans came to get it. Their such big animals aren't they and we had to move on before they gobbled us up along with the bread.

So anyway, i get back home and they want some crisps (i'd used it as a bribe to get them out of the park as i was getting bored). So i give them crisps. Next they want some toasties.. im thinking, well, you've had crisp now you want toast and jam? you only had breakfast 2 hours ago. You're gonna get fat so i had to say no.. tears results! anyway, its a usual morning for me.

Then we go to pick up A. in the car, as he's walked in earlier and he's arranged to meet a friend. I get a bit of free time as the twins are with my mum and i decided to go for a run. I got my pants on, threw on a navy green vest and of i go..

running has always been one of my favourite past times. When you're out there, the only thing you have to worry about is keeping going. All the problems of life disapear for a while and its like an escape. Its nice out running mid week, nobody around, the odd fisherman here or there. Everyone smiles at me and i smile back.

nearly an hour later i get back and im exhausted. So i decide to clean the floor. Its full of orange juice and mixed in with all the dirt trodden in from the back garden. Then i have a bath, shave my armpits and go to pick up the twins.

we get home and we're all tired, L. wants to use my legs as a slide, well.. ok. but it hurts doesn't it.

of to bed go the twins, i manage to creep out without L. telling me to 'sit there'. Its always L, i think N is like her father and sleeps like a rock. (why did i say that! she's just woken up.. oh well better finish of quickly)

so here i am, looking for a new direction, writing here in my blog, and waiting for some kind of idea to sweep me away into another world to discover... (after i've gone upstairs and settled N. down that is!)