crash!

i had a minor car accident on monday. I've never had one before and so its a bit of a strange experience.

what happend was i was trying to turn right, and i couldn't see anything because there were two parked cars blocking the view. I looked right, looked left and then just as i was looking right again, a motorcycle appeared out of knowhere. I stopped the car, i'd hardly pulled out at all and i remember thinking.. wow that was close.

but then, he slowed down but his bike started wobbling all over the place and he eventually crashed right into the front of our car (my dads fancy car). I remember watching him getting closer and closer and thinking, what is he doing?!

then when he smashed i thought you idiot!

but what happend next? two people ran to him and one offered to be his witness? they were asking him if he was ok, nobody looked at me.

they pushed his bike up and then the first thing he did was ask a nearby woman to be his witness.

i was still in a bit of shock, but i got out of the car and asked him if he was ok. No answer. We swapped details and he drove off. My kids were in the back of the car and by now were getting anxious. He never bothered asking us how we were.

What did this do to me? it made me think i was responsible, that i had been at fault. I started getting nervous, anxious and worried. I've never crashed before and im a safe driver. I kept blaming the parked cars, and not him.

anyway. the point is, that a few days later having seen the evidence, that his motorcycle crashed into the front of our car, and not the side, it means its impossible that i had pulled out too far. He would have hit the side of our car, not the front.

with this evidence, i started to think, actually.. he wasn't wobbling, he was out of control. Any suitable driver would NEVER have crashed into me. He was going to fast around a blind corner and he couldn't control his vehicle. Imagine if a kid had pulled out in front of him, what then?

Im pretty upset, because he pretended his leg was hurt and everyone ran to him. Yet his leg wasn't hurt enough to go running to find his witness was it. His leg wasn't hurt enough for him not to just get up on his bike and zoom of again. He faked it, and we all fell for it. He got all the sympathy and witnesses on his side. Clearly, i was dealing with an experienced crasher!

and yet, the evidence shows that it was clearly his fault. Is there something wrong with me?, that when i crashed i was actually concerned that everyone was ok? he only appeared concerned with winning his court case which will im sure be fought out. Why did everyone take his side, when he was at fault?

you know why? because in life, people like him, have made decent people into losers. People like him are actors, people who manipulate situations in their favour. He even manipulated me into thinking it was my fault.

My dad assured me that its not physically possible for it to have been my fault. I never once felt guilty, not until he pretended to be injured and people ran to him asking if he was ok.

One minute i was thinking, 'you bloody moron!' the next i was thinking 'oh my god, what have i done!'.. what had changed my attitude so completely?? he had manipulated me by pretending to be injured, pretending to be the victim, when it was his fault. Its scary isn't it.

anyway neither of us were hurt, nor my kids (who he never even knew where in the car, he didn't care about us at all).

maybe what i should have done is jumped out the car, and started screaming. Saying 'oh my god why did you run into my car?'... 'why were you driving so fast around a blind corner?!', .. 'i have kids here'.. maybe if i'd lied and made up how much i was damaged and manipulated the situation, i might be in a better position now. Maybe i wouldn't have to sit here and write down why i feel so upset?

maybe if i was a worse person, a nastier person who doesn't care, maybe i'd be ok..

road accidents apparently show the true face of people.. there are those that care, and there are those that care about themselves, i mean, what other conclusion can i possibly draw from that?

maybe i should stop drawing conclusions and start looking after myself properly? perhaps thats the lesson i need to learn.

actually, having thought about it the real morale of the story is if you crash with a motorcycle, be careful, because even if its their fault, they are going to seem like the victim. Make sure you photograph everything that happens.