in the night garden

dear diary,

i just wanted to write something down tonight because i've just had such a wonderful night. Tonight my faith in life has been restored so much i can't say how much because i just feel so happy like i've got a feeling in my stomach, i just dont want to ever go to sleep again! my fingers are tingling while im writing this and im smiling like i haven't smiled all week long.

whats happend tonight? well..

firstly i had a good hair day today.. always a vital part of any good day (why is that, isn't it bloody annoying?) but that happens all the time nothing special right?

well ok but next, im waiting to go to my class, i bloody hate classes i always get really nervous before i go, like the whole worlds going to end when i walk in the room. That feeling i get when i walk in if nobody is talking they all stare at me and wait while i agonisingly get my folder and pen out of my bag. Why am i a teacher???

Tonight, they were all nice to me! wow isn't that just so nice. Yeah, thats why im a teacher!

anyway, thats not all.. thats just the beggining!

i was talking to a friend of mine on webcamera. I love webcamera you can meet a whole world of people in like, 20 minutes before you have to go out. Isn't it novel eh? well anyway, D. has a little girl and she's watching TV! i don't know what it is about men looking after babies but they just make me feel like life is worthwhile. She looks like her dad, one more for the good! D. is someone who makes me feel like life is worthwhile. Sometimes its ok to say how you feel right?

anyway that's not all that made me smile,

...i got back from my class, and i read a letter an internet friend of mine, otis.. he has commented on here before. He had written back to somebody that hates me. I just couldn't believe it, someone supporting me??? lol, take that you nasty people! O. hates women? or does he just believe in seperation of the sexes? im not sure. I think he's someone who hasn't learnt how to seduce women properly yet... but maybe im the naive one? Maybe he knows and hes not interested in us. He's got all the tools, and he knows that we always want what we can't have..but he's too scared of using them isnt he? Its too easy for him he wants more of a challenge right?

anyway, heres what he wrote..

http://antimisandry.com/average_age-t7374p11.html?t=7374&page=11

O. seems to be another person who has actually made me believe in people again. Its not often that happens and when it does, i think its important that I recognise it. The last time someone made me feel like i do now was ages ago - i wrote a post about it, the link is..

http://luciavega.blogspot.com/2007/06/this-is-short-post.html

i don't really hate anyone, i feel awkward with some people, and some i feel like they hate me, but i can't really return it for long.. I don't think that there is that much to life, but people who make me feel accepted, are the best thing in my life. I suppose thats why we love being with kids so much.

.

sometimes in life its difficult to see the good in people because we don't know how to show it. We never learn how to express positive sides to ourselves because we get rejected for it when we are young? or maybe we are rejected during our whole lives.

is that right? i don't know i don't really understand why some people are nasty, when its not neccesary. I don't know maybe im guilty of that too.

Still im a pisces and were all a bit like that aren't we. To lost in ourselves and not aware of the funfair that goes on around us??? typical fishies.

anyway, i have to go to bed.. well actually, i ought to go to bed, but tommorow i won't feel like this so best to write it down now?

so.. O., D. and especially mini-D, thankyou, because you've really made my night..